I.C.E. Club – Madagascar

During a recent meeting of our Optimist Club, we challenged one another to come up with an inspirational sentence using the word countenance. This was the winning entry: “I put a cheerful countenance on people every day.” It was submitted by our local funeral director.

My boss’s wife, Sherry, was exasperated with her younger sister, who bought an unreliable car and called her for a ride every time it broke down. One day Sherry got yet another one of those calls. “What happened this time?” she asked. “My brakes went out,” her sister said. “Can you come and get me?” [...]

I was preparing lunch for my granddaughter when the phone rang. “If you can answer one question,” a young man said, “you’ll win ten free dance lessons.” Before I could tell him I was not interested, he continued. “You’ll be a lucky winner if you can tell me what Alexander Graham Bell invented.” “I don’t [...]

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: “For Women Only.” Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. “We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, [...]

A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my [...]