Leaving home before marriage; is this possible here in Madagascar? At what age? Can both boys and girls do that? How about financial issues? Malagasy culture and traditions? Well, a lot of questions to answer before we can make a decision.

Abroad, children leave parents’ home at 18. Here in Madagascar we are used to… well, supposed to… leave parents’ home after the wedding. Yet, many stay. Today, the question is: “should we leave home before marriage?” Yes and No.

NO

Why should we leave a place where we feel warm, protected, loved, no worry? Families are really important for Malagasy culture and traditions. Many parents never want their children go. There are many couples who still leave at their parents’ home even long time after their marriage so why thinking of leaving before it? Getting too much freedom may lead some youngsters to troubles: alcohol, drug, sex addiction… A friend strongly disagreed with the fact that an unmarried girl would leave home stating that girls can have “accidental” pregnancy. Also the society will find a girl leaving alone abnormal. Prejudices about these living alone girls will be always around such as they are whores… So it is better for a girl to stay safe at her parent’s home. Imagine you have to face problems, you will not be alone home, and you will have shoulders to lean on.

YES:

Getting married means you are mature, can be independent, can then handle any situation that may happen in your new home. What may happen if all of these come suddenly to you? You who were used to be at your parents’ home, not having many duties, no need to think of what to eat, no need to worry about the bills… You will not be ready! Living home before marriage can help you then to learn already these responsibilities. Of course, you may find out that you do not know how to cook, for instance. You will have time to call Mom and ask for advice. Wouldn’t you feel embarrassed if such a thing happens once you are married?

Freedom! Let’s talk about it. People also need freedom. Sometimes you need to be alone. Sometimes you need to run away from pressure home. Just silly examples: you like soup but your Mom will decide not to cook that. Or you want to follow a movie but your father wants to watch the news. You then buy your own TV set but your siblings share your room. A lot of little situations that may make you want to feel “free”. As another friend said, if you decide to wait until marriage to leave the parents’ place you may never find this freedom you want because you will be then stuck with your husband/wife and later, children. By freedom, you do not necessarily mean making stupidities which you know will destroy the rest of your life.

Leaving parents’ home, it is not like you will never see them again or stop loving them. Maybe, by leaving home you can help your parents and let them meet up again. No more children to take care of, no more argues to judge, romantic lunches and diners…

For now, many of the young Malagasy people who have left their parents’ home did it for studies, a few for job opportunities. And you, what do you think about it? Will you leave (or have you left) home before marriage?

I’ve subscribed on Facebook in 2007 for replying to an invitation sent by a friend who came back to the States after living here in Madagascar for 3 years. She wanted us to keep in touch. I just joined it without exactly knowing how to use it. One year later, all of my friends talked about Facebook, Facebook, and Facebook and then, I remembered I was already a member. Starting from there, Facebook has become part of my daily life. I have to admit that I spend hours and hours on Facebook. If I’m not connected at home, Facebook still follows me on my mobile phone. It became automatic for me to switch on my computer as soon as I’m home and get connected to Facebook even if I’m sick, tired from work, or just back home very late at night. It made me so happy when finally we could get Facebook mobile here in Madagascar.

What do I like on Facebook? First of all, thanks to Facebook, I can get in touch with my relatives living abroad, I could get connected with my childhood friends I haven’t seen for years, I can make appointments with my ‘local’ friends ‘coz sending sms are much more expensive. Quizzes on Facebook are kind of stupid but it gives me a lot of fun anyway. My favourite game is Akinator, the one which guesses the person I have in mind. Getting cool points became boring at last though. I decided to stop at 6,279 points.

A friend never stops reminding us that private life shouldn’t be shared on Facebook. I’ve just eaten sausage and greens. Can it be dangerous for me? Lol I’m kidding. My friend is completely right. Happily, it did not happen yet here in Madagascar but abroad there were already cases of burglary just because some people told on Facebook but they’d be off for holidays. The burglar was one of their friends on Facebook and he knew it and then just come to their place. Telling private life and sharing your contact (phone, office, address…) are not safe. But also, be friend with people you know. Huh… maybe it’s high time for me to remove those famous people from my friend lists

A cousin said she didn’t like Facebook but finally she is now addicted to it too. Don’t forget that you can choose not to share your information, photos… to everyone but only friends (or friends of friends, but I don’t really advice this one). This cousin likes sharing good quotations she likes. I sometimes do the same thing. Most of the time, I share my feelings, my expectations, anything I can’t say out loud where I am but do it on Facebook ^_^  Something I’ve noticed, a lot of people are used to share negative feelings on Facebook and I have to admit that I don’t really like it. Some of my friends shares something like sad, alone, people are gossiping on me but I don’t care, people are jealous of me, etc. pffff

Some of my friends who are part of the blogosphere also use Facebook as a tool for citizen media where they share news, opinions… and it is useful.

So why is Facebook always with me? It helps me not to get bored, not to feel alone cuz I know all my friends are in it , to have fun, to get new updates from my friends, to comment on these new updates, to give my opinion on a thing (the World Cup for instance), …

Oh… and Facebook helps to remind your friend of your birthday lol.

Why do women claim for Gender Equality? Long long time ago, women did not have the right to vote, to go to school, to get a job, to express themselves. It is sad to know that in some countries until now, women are just good for giving birth, and doing housework. Many of these women are beaten by their husband. And it is so incredible to see the society accepting this.

This little story happened 2 years ago. I knew a guy who is from the South of Madagascar. His son pood and I heard him calling his wife to clean the baby. I asked if he could not do it by himself. Then he said ‘No way! This is woman’s duty. Where I come from, men cannot touch such ‘dirt’. This is our tradition and culture, and my wife and I, we both want to keep that’.

In many companies, pregnant women are not well accepted and can forget about a future promotion. These women may not be as efficient as they were before being pregnant, they would go to maternity leave, they would not work every time the baby got sick. I remember 5 years ago, I had a job interview. The Human Resources Manager of this company asked if I had a boyfriend!!! I said ‘no’ and then wanted to know why she asked such private life question. She said ‘we need a serious person to work with us’ and added ‘don’t disappoint us by getting married and pregnant after a year working here’.

My brother knows everything about housework: shopping, cooking, sewing, washing clothes, ironing, taking out trashes, cleaning rooms… Few years ago, he did not know any of these. I am so thankful to our Mother for having taught him and let him do housework. It can be just good for him.  I know several families where guys have absolutely no duty. They can just come home and ask for the meal. There are other families where cooking, laundering, shopping are for girls and cleaning the room and taking trashes out for boys. Though, you never know what the future will be. Maybe your son would be alone in his life because he got scholarships abroad, or lost his wife…

As I said earlier, long long time ago, women did not have the right to vote, to go to school, to get a job, to express themselves. I am so happy I went to school. I was so happy when finally I was 18 and could vote for the first time in my life. I am so happy I can earn money so I am financially independent. I am so happy when my opinions count. I am so thankful to everyone who has fought for these rights.

Why do (some) men do not want gender equality? A friend said he does not want women to be higher than him; he wants to be the leader; he wants to be the one who decides what to do or not. He said he would never go out with a woman who has higher diploma than him, who earns more than he does, who would give him money for him to be able to buy a car for instance. Another ‘male’ friend was just afraid we ‘women’ want to be higher than men in every field. I just want to stress on the word ‘equality’. Women are claiming for gender ‘equality’. If they want to be bossy then it will be ‘inequality’.

I am married for only 10 months now and maybe I luck experiences as many are used to say but I do not know if it can help. My husband and I are used to decide together what to do. When we moved in our new flat on January, we took time to talk and to take note about what should be done for our home starting with the color of the walls to the furniture and the foods. Like any discussion, both of us give opinions, say why he likes this or why I prefer this one… Then, for the final decision we choose the best, no matter whose idea it was.  And it is so great because we feel that it was a common choice and decision.

A little joke

Thinking of what’s hot, the cab driver, this morning, reminded me that this coming Sunday, we will celebrate Father’s Day. The driver said that none really cares about this Father’s Day; he even added that it is not fair since the Mother’s Day was so well celebrated. Ads on TV, exhibits, concerts, even the streets were full of ideas for Mom’s gift. And I remember, the traffic drove me so mad because everyone was out finding and buying the gifts. And now that we are going to celebrate Father’s Day, life seems so normal. I just told him not to worry because we, children, love both parents, Mom and Dad, the same way. For my brother, our Mom was his shelter for every joy or pain he could feel, and our Dad his Hero for repairing little stuffs home or driving car… The driver got a point when he said that long time ago, only the man worked so when it was to celebrate Mother’s Day, kids asked money from the Father. But for the Father’s Day, the mother might not have money to buy a gift for Dad. It is not the case anymore nowadays where in most families, both parents work. A friendly advice, if you did not get a gift for your father yet, go now and find one; this would make his Sunday shine.

The Independence Day of Madagascar celebrated on June 26 is not less important than events above, plus it will be the 50th anniversary of our independence. Yet, we can see flag sellers in the streets, we have choice between a big flag and a smaller one; it also depends on the financial situation of everyone. What make me mad are the firecrackers. OMG, I live downtown and you may not believe me but, at night around 9 or 10 p.m., for a week now, there are kids who were playing down the streets and exploding firecrackers. I think those are kids of the poor people sleeping under the bridge not afar. But the most exciting plan, like every year, is to go and watch the fireworks in Anosy on the Independence Day eve. As usual, the ICE members will enjoy this moment altogether. I hope that this time I will get a lantern I know what you are thinking now. No, I tell you, I am not too old for such a thing. I have the right to have fun. So if bringing a lantern would make me happy, why not?

Huh, talking about what is hot; let’s not forget that we are now in winter. There are plenty of coats, pullovers, sweet shirts, gloves, mufflers, blankets, feather beds … , new or second hand ones, which are sold all along the streets of Analakely.

When we started four years ago, we chose (already at that time) a relatively low membership fee. We really took time to think and choose the most appropriate amount required to join the club. For four years, we’ve been sticking with this same figure because we know it is still hard for most of our members to (annually) pay it. The rate of people visiting the club and then enrolling is low and we’re sure that “money” has a lot to do with it. When you say 8,000 Ar per year, that seems … few still it impacts someone’s decision on joining or not. Three or four weeks ago, we had new comers – they were all students – and they seemed to be interested in joining the club but at the end of the meeting they came to me and ask if they could pay their membership fees the next month. This situation is not isolated, we’ve seen it many times and what we tell them is just to keep their words and respect their promises.

During our last MS at Ankatso, Lova – an active member – and I had a quite long talk about how means affect members during outdoor activities. He proposed then that the club would take in charge a part of the expenses. We wish we could but our will are limited in a way that we can’t do it for a long run. The club doesn’t have other (sustained) sources of income. Knowing this, Lova aksed if we could increase the membership fee. On one hand it’s risky, we may lose more members and make the enrolling conditions harder. On the other hand, the more you pay, the more you care.

More than 90% of our members are students and they can hardly afford the membership fee. We’ve noticed that they rely on their scholarship which – at least a big part of it – I guess should go somewhere else to pay the membership fee. With the current situation, things have become worse and it’s hard to see your members not coming anymore. We do understand but we’re powerless infront of it.

When we were at the ACC English club a friend asked a question “You guys are learning at the ACC so for you is it a luck, an opportunity or a duty?”. With a 6-year backoff, this question came back to me with a different meaning from what I understood it before. When I think of what people pay to learn English I realize that they are lucky to be able to afford it. And luck may bring opportunities. If we look farther it doesn’t only apply to English language learning but to other fields of life as well.

Trying to find a definition for ignorance, many talked about the fact of not being at school, and not getting information.

According to Wikipedia, ignorance is the state in which one lacks knowledge, is unaware of something or chooses to subjectively ignore information. This should not be confused with being unintelligent, as one’s level of intelligence and level of education or general awareness are not the same. The word “Ignorant” is an adjective describing a person in the state of being unaware. The term may be used specifically (e.g. “One can be an expert in math, and totally ignorant of history.”) or generally (e.g. “an ignorant person.”) – although the second use is used less as a descriptive and more as an imprecise personal insult.

Ignorance is due to fear in some cases, laziness in other cases and of course lack of education. It can be also lack of knowledge/ experiences, lack of understanding. There are people who are ignorant because they just don’t want to know anything or take the time to learn more about something. Some believed that living in remote areas, country sides make people ignorant because of isolation.

We were divided into two groups: those who agreed that there are no advantages in being ignorant in one side and those who favoured the ignorance. And the debate started (and was about not to finish lol). Globally, the following will give an overview of the whole discussion.

One started with the following example: “If the man I’m going out with is cheating on me, I will prefer not to know about it.” The answer to this was: “It is always better to know the information, then it’s up to you to decide either you use this information or not, and how you will use it.”

On one hand, if you are aware of a disease that you have, you are able to cure it or at least try, though on the other hand, knowing that you have cancer or AIDS or any incurable disease will make feel sad, discouraged, can even  worsen your health.

Some members stated that knowing (mastering) several specialities is the right key of success in life. But obviously, such outstanding mental capacity is impossible. I joked by saying that I would not spend energy and fill up my “hard drive” with things that may not really interest me and things that I may never use (nor understand ). And sometimes it is unpleasant even boring to be with a ‘Mr/Mrs I Know Everything”.

A member raised the issue of people living in remote villages, not connected at all to the “modern world” and enjoying their natural and simple life. Most of the time those people start to loose their values when they start to be more open to knowledge.

We were asked if we wanted to know when we would die.  Those who preferred not to know declared that they would live a “carpe diem” life with more peace, fun and less worries. Those who chose to know explained that they would be able to review what their priorities are. A guy said he would not wait to try new things that he hesitated or was afraid to do before.

Is being ignorant a bliss? There is no irremovable answer. It mainly depends on one’s view. Just, watch out, the concept of ignorance has social and legal implications. The legal principle that ignorantia juris non excusat, literally “ignorance of the law is no excuse”, stands for the proposition that the law applies also to those who are unaware of it.

Have you already thought that your life has a sense?
Can you explain what it means to you?
Remember every second in your life is a chance
You must believe ‘coz it’s true

Now look at the sky
Find your way
Hope is stronger than cry
Remember the sun rises up every day

[Poem written by Tita's friend and proposed to ICE. Thanks ]

Then a valiha’s strings sang,
Women dance, move their shoulders,
Shake their dresses’ bright colors,
They stop. They open umbrellas…
Turn round, parading their lambas
With that drum’s beats’ clang.

Suddenly all fall silent !
Deep voices come, singing loud.
And men in blue malabary come out,
Women drop out umbrellas
And dance stretching out lambas.
Oh, how wonderful is hiragasy !

I wish it would never, never stop.
But I have no more words to drop.
Too amazing to be told precise.
See by yourself, rest is surprise!

This is the marvelous hiragasy.

By Suki

If you are one of those executive types unhappy at your present post and embarking on a New Year’s resolution to find a new one, here’s a helping hand. The job interview is considered to be the most critical aspect of every expedition that brings you face-to- face with the future boss. One must prepare for it with the same tenacity and quickness as one does for a fencing tournament or a chess match.

This article has been excerpted from “PARTING COMPANY: How to Survive the Loss of a Job and Find Another Successfully” by William J. Morin and James C. Cabrera. Copyright by Drake Beam Morin, inc. Published by Harcourt Brace Jovanovich.

Morin is chairman and Cabrera is president of New York-based Drake Beam Morin, nation’s major outplacement firm, which has opened offices in Philadelphia.

1. Tell me about yourself.

Since this is often the opening question in an interview, be extra careful that you don’t run off at the mouth. Keep your answer to a minute or two at most. Cover four topics: early years, education, work history, and recent career experience. Emphasize this last subject. Remember that this is likely to be a warm-up question. Don’t waste your best points on it.

2. What do you know about our organization?

You should be able to discuss products or services, revenues, reputation, image, goals, problems, management style, people, history and philosophy. But don’t act as if you know everything about the place. Let your answer show that you have taken the time to do some research, but don’t overwhelm the interviewer, and make it clear that you wish to learn more.

You might start your answer in this manner: “In my job search, I’ve investigated a number of companies.

Yours is one of the few that interests me, for these reasons…”

Give your answer a positive tone. Don’t say, "Well, everyone tells me that you’re in all sorts of trouble, and that’s why I’m here", even if that is why you’re there.

3. Why do you want to work for us?

The deadliest answer you can give is “Because I like people.” What else would you like-animals?

Here, and throughout the interview, a good answer comes from having done your homework so that you can speak in terms of the company’s needs. You might say that your research has shown that the company is doing things you would like to be involved with, and that it’s doing them in ways that greatly interest you. For example, if the organization is known for strong management, your answer should mention that fact and show that you would like to be a part of that team. If the company places a great deal of emphasis on research and development, emphasize the fact that you want to create new things and that you know this is a place in which such activity is encouraged. If the organization stresses financial controls, your answer should mention a reverence for numbers.

If you feel that you have to concoct an answer to this question – if, for example, the company stresses research, and you feel that you should mention it even though it really doesn’t interest you- then you probably should not be taking that interview, because you probably shouldn’t be considering a job with that organization.

Your homework should include learning enough about the company to avoid approaching places where you wouldn’t be able -or wouldn’t want- to function. Since most of us are poor liars, it’s difficult to con anyone in an interview. But even if you should succeed at it, your prize is a job you don’t really want.

4. What can you do for us that someone else can’t?

Here you have every right, and perhaps an obligation, to toot your own horn and be a bit egotistical. Talk about your record of getting things done, and mention specifics from your resume or list of career accomplishments. Say that your skills and interests, combined with this history of getting results, make you valuable. Mention your ability to set priorities, identify problems, and use your experience and energy to solve them.

5. What do you find most attractive about this position? What seems least attractive about it?

List three or four attractive factors of the job, and mention a single, minor, unattractive item.

6. Why should we hire you?

Create your answer by thinking in terms of your ability, your experience, and your energy. (See question 4.)

7. What do you look for in a job?

Keep your answer oriented to opportunities at this organization. Talk about your desire to perform and be recognized for your contributions. Make your answer oriented toward opportunity rather than personal security.

8. Please give me your definition of [the position for which you are being interviewed].

Keep your answer brief and task oriented. Think in in terms of responsibilities and accountability. Make sure that you really do understand what the position involves before you attempt an answer. If you are not certain. ask the interviewer; he or she may answer the question for you.

9. How long would it take you to make a meaningful contribution to our firm?

Be realistic. Say that, while you would expect to meet pressing demands and pull your own weight from the first day, it might take six months to a year before you could expect to know the organization and its needs well enough to make a major contribution.

10. How long would you stay with us?

Say that you are interested in a career with the organization, but admit that you would have to continue to feel challenged to remain with any organization. Think in terms of, "As long as we both feel achievement-oriented."

11. Your resume suggests that you may be over-qualified or too experienced for this position. What’s Your opinion?

Emphasize your interest in establishing a long-term association with the organization, and say that you assume that if you perform well in his job, new opportunities will open up for you. Mention that a strong company needs a strong staff. Observe that experienced executives are always at a premium. Suggest that since you are so well qualified, the employer will get a fast return on his investment. Say that a growing, energetic company can never have too much talent.

12. What is your management style?

You should know enough about the company’s style to know that your management style will complement it. Possible styles include: task oriented (I’ll enjoy problem-solving identifying what’s wrong, choosing a solution and implementing it"), results-oriented ("Every management decision I make is determined by how it will affect the bottom line"), or even paternalistic ("I’m committed to taking care of my subordinates and pointing them in the right direction").

A participative style is currently quite popular: an open-door method of managing in which you get things done by motivating people and delegating responsibility.

As you consider this question, think about whether your style will let you work happily and effectively within the organization.

13. Are you a good manager? Can you give me some examples? Do you feel that you have top managerial potential?

Keep your answer achievement and ask-oriented. Rely on examples from your career to buttress your argument. Stress your experience and your energy.

14. What do you look for when You hire people?

Think in terms of skills. initiative, and the adaptability to be able to work comfortably and effectively with others. Mention that you like to hire people who appear capable of moving up in the organization.

15. Have you ever had to fire people? What were the reasons, and how did you handle the situation?

Admit that the situation was not easy, but say that it worked out well, both for the company and, you think, for the individual. Show that, like anyone else, you don’t enjoy unpleasant tasks but that you can resolve them efficiently and -in the case of firing someone- humanely.

16. What do you think is the most difficult thing about being a manager or executive?

Mention planning, execution, and cost-control. The most difficult task is to motivate and manage employees to get something planned and completed on time and within the budget.

17. What important trends do you see in our industry?

Be prepared with two or three trends that illustrate how well you understand your industry. You might consider technological challenges or opportunities, economic conditions, or even regulatory demands as you collect your thoughts about the direction in which your business is heading.

18. Why are you leaving (did you leave) your present (last) job?

Be brief, to the point, and as honest as you can without hurting yourself. Refer back to the planning phase of your job search. where you considered this topic as you set your reference statements. If you were laid off in an across-the-board cutback, say so; otherwise, indicate that the move was your decision, the result of your action. Do not mention personality conflicts.

The interviewer may spend some time probing you on this issue, particularly if it is clear that you were terminated. The "We agreed to disagree" approach may be useful. Remember hat your references are likely to be checked, so don’t concoct a story for an interview.

19. How do you feel about leaving all your benefits to find a new job?

Mention that you are concerned, naturally, but not panicked. You are willing to accept some risk to find the right job for yourself. Don’t suggest that security might interest you more than getting the job done successfully.

20. In your current (last) position, what features do (did) you like the most? The least?

Be careful and be positive. Describe more features that you liked than disliked. Don’t cite personality problems. If you make your last job sound terrible, an interviewer may wonder why you remained there until now.

21. What do you think of your boss?

Be as positive as you can. A potential boss is likely to wonder if you might talk about him in similar terms at some point in the future.

22. Why aren’t you earning more at your age?

Say that this is one reason that you are conducting this job search. Don’t be defensive.

23. What do you feel this position should pay?

Salary is a delicate topic. We suggest that you defer tying yourself to a precise figure for as long as you can do so politely. You might say, “I understand that the range for this job is between $______ and $______. That seems appropriate for the job as I understand it.” You might answer the question with a question: “Perhaps you can help me on this one. Can you tell me if there is a range for similar jobs in the organization?”

If you are asked the question during an initial screening interview, you might say that you feel you need to know more about the position’s responsibilities before you could give a meaningful answer to that question. Here, too, either by asking the interviewer or search executive (if one is involved), or in research done as part of your homework, you can try to find out whether there is a salary grade attached to the job. If there is, and if you can live with it, say that the range seems right to you.

If the interviewer continues to probe, you might say, "You know that I’m making $______ now. Like everyone else, I’d like to improve on that figure, but my major interest is with the job itself." Remember that the act of taking a new job does not, in and of itself, make you worth more money.

If a search firm is involved, your contact there may be able to help with the salary question. He or she may even be able to run interference for you. If, for instance, he tells you what the position pays, and you tell him that you are earning that amount now and would Like to do a bit better, he might go back to the employer and propose that you be offered an additional 10%.

If no price range is attached to the job, and the interviewer continues to press the subject, then you will have to respond with a number. You cannot leave the impression that it does not really matter, that you’ll accept whatever is offered. If you’ve been making $80,000 a year, you can’t say that a $35,000 figure would be fine without sounding as if you’ve given up on yourself. (If you are making a radical career change, however, this kind of disparity may be more reasonable and understandable.)

Don’t sell yourself short, but continue to stress the fact that the job itself is the most important thing in your mind. The interviewer may be trying to determine just how much you want the job. Don’t leave the impression that money is the only thing that is important to you. Link questions of salary to the work itself.

But whenever possible, say as little as you can about salary until you reach the "final" stage of the interview process. At that point, you know that the company is genuinely interested in you and that it is likely to be flexible in salary negotiations.

24. What are your long-range goals?

Refer back to the planning phase of your job search. Don’t answer, “I want the job you’ve advertised.”Relate your goals to the company you are interviewing: “in a firm like yours, I would like to…”;

25. How successful do you you’ve been so far?

Say that, all-in-all, you’re happy with the way your career has progressed so far. Given the normal ups and downs of life, you feel that you’ve done quite well and have no complaints.

Present a positive and confident picture of yourself, but don’t overstate your case. An answer like, “Everything’s wonderful! I can’t think of a time when things were going better! I’m overjoyed!” is likely to make an interviewer wonder whether you’re trying to fool him . . . or yourself. The most convincing confidence is usually quiet confidence.

Now that we’ve run the ICE Poetry Slam for 3 months (and more) it might be interesting to open this section of website again and encourage you to submit you works. We have around 50 poems submitted in our database and we’ll presently publish them. Maybe two or three per week depending on our availability.